i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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