I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
