He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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