we're blogging at a bar
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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