2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Boobs speak an international language.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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