if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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