You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
