Plan B is the new Plan A
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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