yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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