Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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