break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
