I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
