i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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