i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize