There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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