Texts From Last Night

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  (302): View more from Delaware

  is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?

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  (302): is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture? http://tfl.nu/hrqs
  Replies (4) Good night (1527) Bad night (3914)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.

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  (757): I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis. http://tfl.nu/mahz
  Replies (33) Good night (993) Bad night (5892)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on

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  (416): I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on http://tfl.nu/c1eq
  Replies (19) Good night (5409) Bad night (981)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga

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  (414): It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga http://tfl.nu/cqgc
  Replies (20) Good night (1105) Bad night (4820)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub

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  (978): For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub http://tfl.nu/5zqx
  Replies (5) Good night (4774) Bad night (885)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.

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  (410): He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week. http://tfl.nu/7fuh
  Replies (62) Good night (7639) Bad night (1738)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.

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  (519): Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die. http://tfl.nu/wxg3
  Replies (21) Good night (5811) Bad night (1263)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario

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  (314): I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario http://tfl.nu/9b6y
  Replies (3) Good night (2174) Bad night (1413)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.

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  (208): Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos. http://tfl.nu/080u
  Replies (7) Good night (2751) Bad night (883)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone

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  (804): I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone http://tfl.nu/9ph0
  Replies (11) Good night (3009) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?

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  (615): Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night? http://tfl.nu/6kbl
  Replies (3) Good night (1460) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.

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  (631): I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping. http://tfl.nu/09a4
  Replies (3) Good night (549) Bad night (807)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.

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  (215): tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours. http://tfl.nu/k3ze
  Replies (9) Good night (1232) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?

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  (818): Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!? http://tfl.nu/7lwx
  Replies (8) Good night (572) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes

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  (561): If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes http://tfl.nu/y5re
  Replies (2) Good night (449) Bad night (226)

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