ADVERTISEMENT

• (505): View more from New Mexico

  The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.

  Fav 12 4512 824

  share tweet
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.

  Fav 24 6199 846

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (314): View more from Missouri

  The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b

  Fav 9 1092 4757

  share tweet
  

• (314): View more from Missouri

  Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad

  Fav 19 1438 3106

  share tweet
  
• 

  27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (980): View more from North Carolina

  when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.

  Fav 14 6458 1167

  share tweet
  

• (229): View more from Georgia

  Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes

  Fav 3 940 1275

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (443): View more from Maryland

  You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.

  Fav 2 1552 838

  share tweet
  

• (207): View more from Maine

  I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.

  Fav 6 855 1654

  share tweet
  

• (815): View more from Illinois

  yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa

  Fav 2 950 568

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (512): View more from Texas

  Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.

  Fav 3 881 606

  share tweet
  

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.

  Fav 3 646 1047

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (360): View more from Washington

  I went on an adventure and now we have more food.

  (360): View more from Washington

  Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.

  Fav 0 758 545

  share tweet
  

• (850): View more from Florida

  I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?

  Fav 3 882 593

  share tweet
  

• (905): View more from Ontario

  downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.

  Fav 4 1141 509

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (561): View more from Florida

  Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.

  Fav 2 840 474

  share tweet
  

Randomize