remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
