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• (407): View more from Florida

  this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.

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• (661): View more from California

  Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.

  (1-661): View more from California

  What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?

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• 

  27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (802): View more from Vermont

  She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party

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• (+04): View more from

  She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.

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• (+81): View more from

  Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.

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• 

  23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (406): View more from Montana

  The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia

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