do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...