belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
