Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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