I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
