apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Randomize
