Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
