shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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