Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
