make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So much rum. So many feels.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
