When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
