Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
im holly from the hills drunk
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
