Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
