dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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