yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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