I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
