It's Friday. Sex?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize