you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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