im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
