Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
