I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
