K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
