32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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