guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
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Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
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Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
there is glitter all over my balls
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