it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
