Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
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