They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
