playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
