Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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