come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize