Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Randomize
