What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
