But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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