normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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