I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize