if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize