Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
