yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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