I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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