You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize