Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
