you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
