Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
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just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
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But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
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