This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
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