I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
