i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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