If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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