I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Success! We fucked roommates!
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
